Welcome to Neurotica

My agent called today.

The manuscript has made it to the "sharing it around the office" stage at two major publishers.

Yay, you say?!

Oh, yay it would be for most. But you're now in Neurotica, better known as inside P's head.

In Neurotica, good news is always viewed with a healthy dose of - oh my God, what if...

Don't tsk or shake your head. I've always been like this. I can't take your pity for my flaws. For my inability to control my comeptitive streak, yes, but not for my neurosis.

On the outside I'm confident and brimming with - well of course they wanted to read it-bravado. Inside? 'Nother story.

So as my agent is sharing this with me, my heart is pounding excitedly and I'm saying all the right things an author should say when they hear that two editors "really love" the story.

But while I'm yapping, here's the conversation going on in Neurotica - because in my head, I can hold a conversation with you and myself, simultaneously. Call it a talent.

Good P - Oh my God, they both want to read it. This is better than...no not sex. But more exciting than...not the birth of the princesses. This is awesome!

Bad P - Damn, now they have to get the thumbs up from others? Why couldn't we have just submitted to the Ed Director? VP or something? Grrr...

Good P - Can you believe, after all the hard work we've put in, our girl is finally making some headway in the publishing game?

Bad P - Why is it taking so lonnngg? Doesn't anyone recognize how great we are, already? Have you seen some of the drivel on the shelves. Our drivel is as good as any of that!

Good P - Patience, P. Ooh did you hear that? Our agent said she thinks she may hear back more as early as next week?

Bad P - So all weekend I'm left to obsess over this? Great! And then what if they don't read it? You know it's always "next week," or "tomorrow."

Good P - These are two powerhouse publishers. We're rolling with the big dogs, now!

Bad P - God, they're such different houses. How in the world did both of them like the same manuscript? Are we getting Punk'd?

Good P - Everyone doesn't breakthrough on their first try. Think of it like a Grammy or Oscar nod - it's an honor just to get a nom.

Bad P - Are you serious? We'll never quit our day job with you spouting that crap! Sales, girl. All we're worried about are sales!

Good P - Let's reward ourselves with a weekend off. Soak in the joy of reaching the next step.

Bad P - No! Ten pages tonight and at least 15 more before the weekends out. Chop, chop! These manuscripts ain't gonna write themselves. Gotta get ready in case they say no!