New York Loves Them Thugs

Let me say this, right off the top: I think New York (Flavor of Love) is an over the top Drama Queen with a skank attitude. In other words, she's the perfect person to pull off the trashy, no-holds barred shows that VH1 is quickly becoming known for.

Ahhh...for the days when you could catch a good old-school vidjo on VH1.

Oh well, times change, right? And either change with them or become a dinosaur.

So I'm peepin' the sneak preview of I Love New York (mind you I'm disgusted the entire time I watch, ha ha)and my first thought is - Where in the hell did they find these dudes?

I swear, these are 20 of the most ordinary, men ever.

T-Bone, who New York called "greasy" is a head scratcher. In a confessional she cracked on his comment that ladies say he has dreamy eyes (yeah, okay!). Were the producers like, Hey, let's pick a guy who doesn't have a snow ball's chance in hell of making it past the first night.

Bonz, who seems like a nice enough dude and damn near gorgeous compared to some of the other contestants, bored New York out the gate. As soon as he said he was "god fearing" and started quoting scripture you could hear the little voice in NY's head hollering, NEXT!

T-Weed (and I have no fuggin idea what that nickname means)had New York's momma salivating. I have no idea why. He looked like a five cent pimp. But Momma said, "He dresses nice and has money." Ummm...alright. I guess he dresses like that to throw you off track.

Geez, where are the hotties?

Oh wait...hot men do NOT want New York. So the mere existence of this show reinforces the cliche there is someone for everyone. The producers of I Love NY went out of their way to keep this real.

No plastic surgery, artificial abs male models here.

Okay, so now that we've gotten that out of the way...New York's ability to carry a show on her own is going to be interesting, to say the least. When she's not ranting, raving and bullying these guys she has little to offer in the way of intelligent or even interesting insight.

A few New Yorkism jewels:

"Chance is a real thug. He's dangerous...baggy clothes...drinks alot, I like that."

"Pootie's got a few screws loose...but that's okay."

"I'm feeling the f*$#% outta you."

"Well, I'm not from Latin."

Err...okay.

Based on New York's low standards, she didn't have to go on a reality show to find some broke down, crazy ass thug. It's plenty of 'em available in every city.

But then where would the fun in that be?

Another, WTH, issue...a few of the guys who did have a little in the looks department (and by looks I mean half-way decent physically in the face or body and/or dressed well) seemed gay.

New York's mom picked up on that, as well. So I'm not alone wondering what's up with that.

Maybe they're there to hook up with Chamo, NY's giddy-gay assistant and personal stylist.

New York's momma can be straight ignorant sometimes. But her disdain for Chance, the thug New York immediately fell for, is gold. Pure Reality TV Gold! She called dude a "freakin' big mouth punk" and blew smoke in his face.

Go momma!!!

Sadly, I'm sure he'll end up in the Top five because NY was practically creaming herself the second he opened his mouth.

Sorry momma.

I Love New York is everything trashy TV should be: loud, wrong and raw. Granted, I won't be juggling anything to watch it. But if I run across it and nothing else is on, I'll tune in. Nothing wrong with rubber necking at a good train wreck as long as noone gets hurt.

Ooh which, by the way, didja watch Dirt last night? Courtney Cox's new show.

Parts of it felt contrived as all hell (Lucy's one nighter, blackmailing the young hungry actor for juicy celeb dirt, and Lucy firing a staffer for calling her a bitch via text), still, not a bad way to spend a hour. I'm curious if the storylines will get a tad more believable.

Then again, what do I know? I'm about as far out of the Hollywood loop as you can get. For all I know the portrayal could be dead on. Still, my gut says if they don't tighten up the storylines and characterization they'll lose people...probably to something mindless and (just barely)less contrived like I Love New York.