Nipped and Tucked by the Fall Season

Last season, I sat super glued to the televison every Sunday night at 9 (those nosy, sneaky housewives caught up in Wisteria's hysteria), Tuesday night at 10 (back biting, partner switching plastic surgeons) and Monday at 10 (frumpy, mom of three with eerie law-abiding psychic skillies).

I know, I know. Where in the world did I find time to watch television when I was supposed to be neck deep in book revs? Well a girls gotta have some time to herself!

But this season has been such a disappointment. I've all but tuned out the Housewives. Instead I'm freshly caught up in Law & Order: Criminal Intent. God, who knew it could be better than the original L&O? A statement, by the way, I would have considered downright blasphemous only a season and a half ago. But with Jerry Orbach's passing and Jesse L. Martin off filming Rent, the show took a turn. And I haven't bothered to get back into it.

Still, it's this fall season I'm in need of therapy for. Paging Dr. Freud to help me deal with the drama of this year's dramas:

- All I can say about Nip/Tuck is...EW! Last night's graphic shot of darkly handsome, Dr. Costas, getting bum-rushed (literally) by a young soldier was way over the ick factor for me. I wasn't prepared for it and it just felt...ew. Sorry, gay love I can deal with. Soft gay porn, not ready for it.

- And while I'm on the subject of Nip/Tuck, I am sick, sick, sick of Matt. He is such a puss...y! Seriously. First he's all in love with a transsexual. That f'ed his head up enough so that this season he's become a brooding, pouty, little cuss dating a racist. Dude has serious issues. That on its own wouldn't be a big deal. But he's this classic, spoiled kid who blames his snotty disdain on his completely bizarre and messed up parents. Yes, I know. His mom was a major ho' and now he basically has "two" dads. AND one of his dads slept with his transsexual lover. But still, Matt, dude, you're a little too old to play the pouty five-year old. Get over it!

- As far as the Housewives go - yes, I'm one of those fans on the "have the ladies together more" bandwagon. Last year, their intrigue was all well-connected. Or at least, they'd confine to one another like any friends would. Now it's like four different stories totally unconnected. And you wouldn't even know they were friends. They're never together! Not to mention it's only season two but Terri Hatcher's characters neuroses is already wearing really, REALLY thin! And where in the hell are Bree's kids?! Her husband's deader than a doornail and she's already off doing the nasty knock with that creepy pharmacist. No peep from the kids on this so far minus the one time the son nearly beat the guy to a pulp.

People, please, do I need to do everything myself?! If either show wants a little assistance in making their characters just a tad less annoying, give me a call. Please! It's becoming unbearable.

It's no coincidence I've left Medium out of my rant. The show is still good. The story lines remain crisp and fresh. And while some of the conversations between husband and wife are a little tired - you know him tired of her psychic powers interfering in their every day to do's - the show still has my respect. More importantly, I'm still watching it!

Which is more than I can say for Desperate Housewives. Nip/Tuck I'll keep watching a while longer...if only they'd just give Matt less air time!!


Maybe the second half of the season holds better viewing. Until then...

Ti and Vo,

Paula