Growing up MTV

Scary is the world where Christina Aguilera is fully dressed and Britney Spears is chasing after her juvenile delinquent infant for the sake of a skit (foreshadowing?).

Yes, world, MTV is ::gasp:: growing up.

The pop stars it revolved its success are married with children and MTV's original loyal viewers, those who grew up consuming it hungrily each day, are nearing forty.

Scary, but true.

MTV quietly turned twenty-five years old, a few weeks ago. The milestone arrived without the network's normal fanfare, because it's attempting to avoid aging like I'm waging war with my gray, plucking at the pesky white hairs that refuse to stop popping up.

Guess what?

Me and MTV are both losing our battles.

The only difference is, I've made peace with getting older AND I make it look good. Anyone daring to speak otherwise better be ready to throw bows if I catch 'em.

This year's VMA's, stilted, gimmicky and rife with weird production glitches, were akin to my first sign of gray - visible evidence that you cannot avoid the inevitable.

But, seriously, it's nothing to panic over.

MTV is getting older. The sooner they accept this, the faster they can get over it and move on. And the faster they'll get back to innovating.

Last night, it felt like MTV was working so hard to be the cool kid, they ended up coming off sweaty, awkward and reeking of the sort of desperation that comes when a person is trying too hard to draw attention to themselves.

If MTV has to work to stay relevant to young people, it'll fail. But as long as the network continues to feature today's hottest music, it will be relevant to young people and...hold your hats, some not so young.

The VMAs were especially disappointing because they've been a part of my regular viewing pool for a long time. VMAs are always either on or very near my birthday. It signals the end of summer and the dawn of a new school year.

Me, the King and Princess A were all excited about watching the awards. And that's cool that MTV and music, in general, serves to bridge a gap between Gen X (that's me and the hubster) and Gen M (my daughter).

But the jokes that fell flat (and there were many!), the odd silences that often followed between the introduction of an act and the actual performance and the lack of rabid fan noise which usually overshadows the winners' thank you's made for one of the most painful viewing experiences ever.

Where was the spontaneity? The scandalous? The genuine moments of coolness?

I mean other than the last five minutes, when the crazy dude swiped the mic before Panic at the Disco could give their acceptance speech?

I refuse to believe that old age is setting in, making MTV an old fogey.

Getting older doesn't have to mean out of touch and boring. What it should mean is having enough experience to know what works, what doesn't and what would be out-of-the-box enough to wow both the old school and the nu.

Look, I'm going to blame the lackluster three and a half hours solely on who ever put this year's VMA's together. Maybe they need to retire.

I'm willing to wait, patiently, for next year's show when MTV better get back to pioneering great moments in award show history.

Hey, MTV! Stop worrying about the gray hairs. It's nothing a little swagger and some hair dye won't remedy.

Sidenote: it wasn't all bad...

The Good

* The show was back in NYC

* Uncle L (Cool J, that is) presenting. Mmmmm! His dimples will never go out of style.

* The The OK Go performance was cool. Don't be mad at the lip syncing. You try hop scotching on a moving treadmill!

* BEP for winning Hip Hop Video. Usually the Black Eyed Peas aren't considered Hip Hop and pfffttt on everyone who wants to narrowly define the genre.

* K-Fed didn't perform.

* Hype Williams getting his grown man on (no more dreads)and getting the Vanguard award

* Beyonce's performance (B has mad flexibility).

* Panic at the Disco's performance (that's my joint).

* The behind-the-scenes available online. I logged in halfway through the show and found the B-T-S footage more interesting!